| leopard-skin pill-box hat |
[Jan. 11th, 2006|02:28 am] |
| [ | what's up buttercup? |
| |  what the hell is a livejournal | ] |
| [ | all rock n' roll to me |
| | Bob Dylan: The Royal Albert Hall Concert (Disc 2) | ] |
So it's been ages since I've even so much as glanced at this goshdern livejournal thinger...
I'm pleased to say with confidence that I have loosened up a great deal since I last used this. Good gravy! With the exception of a few entries I still think are pretty neat-o, this journal was crap! If I ever write in this thing again, it's an angst-free zone. Afterall, I'm in my twenties now. No more teen angst. Scout's honor! Not that I ever was a girl scout or boy scout, but I know that scout's honor is held in high regard. Addie's dad is a scout king. He wears cool shorts and socks on Tuesdays. |
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| it's gonna be a bad day, come some day |
[May. 19th, 2005|09:41 pm] |
| [ | what's up buttercup? |
| |  allow me to inform you... | ] |
| [ | all rock n' roll to me |
| | Rooney - I'm a Terrible Person | ] |
I don't even know the point in typing out these thoughts, or any other thoughts of mine, unless they will help others to sort out their own lives and mentalities and beliefs and such. So here it goes:
Romance. I love discussing it, hearing about it, thinking about it, and allowing my imagination cater to my every whim of what romance might be. I really do. A lot. I hate this. Getting swept up into what society says romance is has only allowed for me to be let down by what I've tasted of it. I know it could be so much more, but it's so easy for me to stay up late with and be completely enamored by a boy who is probably doing just the same with other girls. If you met him, you'd probably do the same. Thing is, you shouldn't. Though a good chap on the surface, he's a jerk at the core. |
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| never there, you're never there...you're never ever ever ever there |
[Feb. 28th, 2005|01:26 pm] |
| [ | what's up buttercup? |
| |  gah | ] |
| [ | all rock n' roll to me |
| | Zao, but it should be Cake: "Never There" | ] |
3 more months of my roommate always here will turn into a year of some other roommate always there and then 2 or 3 more years with an apartment roommate always there then a husband always there then babies everywhere. |
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| when all the dark clouds roll away and the sun begins to shine... |
[Feb. 2nd, 2005|03:37 pm] |
| [ | what's up buttercup? |
| |  ! | ] |
| [ | all rock n' roll to me |
| | if I had time for music right now, it'd be Van Morrison | ] |
So I was in Drawing II 3 or 4 minutes ago (however long it takes to walk here from the studio) doing this insanely frustrating piece with charcoal and a skeleton draped with plastic and spotlights and...well, that part of my story doesn't even really matter. I needed to go back to my room to get a few more supplies to finish off the piece and MY GOOD LORDY! It is breathtakingly beautiful outside! It's only 3:40 in the afternoon, but it felt like a sunset, the way the sun is glowing so soft on everything. I've had some heavy self-inflicted burdens weighing me down the past couple weeks, but everything just lifted. I love those moments. I live for those moments. These are the moments that you just smile and sigh really really big, even if someone happens to see you. Nobody was in my path from the studio to my dorm, but if there was anyone, I'd be ok with it. Peace in my existance feels pretty much good, I'd say. |
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| manifest individuality, manifest a sense of reality |
[Jan. 25th, 2005|01:19 am] |
| [ | what's up buttercup? |
| |  epiphany | ] |
| [ | all rock n' roll to me |
| | Fatboy Slim: Palookaville | ] |
Enlightenment is most certainly one of my favorite things, among hugs, smiles, my teddy bear, and other treasures. I love it when I realize something so key to my very existance, especially when I know I can work on it. Tonight I've come to face every way I've changed over the semester away from home. I'd say that a hefty chunk is good change...I have become more outgoing, I have learned to live with someone who is completely alike and unlike me at the same time, I let things go that I'd normally dwell on intensely and unnesessarily, I am a different person. I also, however, have acquired a false open-mindedness and have dipped into a Pandora's box I know I should pull my curious hand from. In this incredible amount of freedom which is both lifting my feet and weighing down my back, I'm experiencing life like never before. I'm learning so much about myself and life in general, truths I've been taught are solidifying, and my roots are becoming so important to me. I'm also making bad choices and learning from them. One would say that this is wonderful and perhaps even beautiful for me to be doing this, but what I realized tonight is that it's all so needless. I don't need to try something to know it's wrong. Don't take any of this out of context; I'm not doing drugs or sleeping around. I'm not dealing heroine or becoming the typical booze-thirsty college student. To many, my negative changes aren't even "all that bad". These bad choices I'm making may be trivial in the eyes of popular culture, but I consider them to be detrimental to my very being. I am not who I was 4 months ago. I do like this new sense of security I've found in myself, but I miss the old Sarah who's vernacular did not involve that of the vulgar persuasion. I miss not being curious about everything that I was told to stay away from. I want to be "pure of mind and heart" again, but hold onto everything good I've gained living here. I'd say that I've advanced my mentality and lost some of myself at the same time. It's the neverending search for balance while keeping reality intact.
p.s. - I really really like Odwalla's carrot juice, natural rip-offs of Oreos, french onion soup, mittens, fresh snow, and newly acquired friends. |
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| I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna bite my pillow is what I'm gonna do! |
[Jan. 11th, 2005|01:59 pm] |
| [ | what's up buttercup? |
| |  it makes sense, man! | ] |
| [ | all rock n' roll to me |
| | TV on the Radio : "Dreams" | ] |
As soon as everything makes perfect sense, something throws me completely off-kilter. I don't get it. I don't. At all. Life, that is. Everything was so crisp, so clear. I knew how to get the best out of life and where I wanted to go with it. How could 4 months of living away from home and everything familiar completely throw me off? I guess I just have to keep reminding myself of all the truths I know to be real. Hindsight is so much more important than I ever knew it to be before. I can't think about all the changes going on around me when I know the core things that make me who I am and life what it is. Yeah, something like that.
I really like Waiting for Guffman, french baguettes with brie, and Dr. Pepper. |
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| it's colder than it looks outside |
[Dec. 13th, 2004|06:36 pm] |
| [ | what's up buttercup? |
| |  think think think | ] |
| [ | all rock n' roll to me |
| | Eric Clapton | ] |
Overall, college has been a very positive experience for me thus far. Very positive, indeed! But then there's some stuff that creeps up on me out of nowhere every few blue moons and totally gnaws away at my skull:
stale conversation about the same thing you heard yesterday and the day before and the day before and...
college means you can never be alone
the tv upstairs I can hear through the pipe at 2am
dirty laundry
cafeteria food
going from lots of guy friends to a handful
internet addiction
chapped lips
need for hugs goodnight, but no delivery
calling cards
you can never ever be naked in your own room...ever
can't sleep in your underwear
messy room
good food isn't free
apostate philosophy
...say anything to that |
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| I'll make you laugh by being the guy who sings |
[Nov. 10th, 2004|12:44 pm] |
| [ | what's up buttercup? |
| |  LIFE! I LIKE IT! | ] |
| [ | all rock n' roll to me |
| | Hot Hot Heat | ] |
I love laughing so much. I get such a high off laughing. This leads to more laughing and eventually tears streaming down my face. I don't understand how some people are too cold to just enjoy life and laugh. There's so much good in life. Rest in the wonders of it. Actually, no. Don't rest. Dance in the wonders of life. It's just so friggin beautiful, most of it. Sure, there are some things in life that suck beyond fathom. There is stuff in this world that humanity could do without. But look around you! Good gravy! Laugh! Dance! |
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| don't let life pass you by... |
[Nov. 4th, 2004|02:04 pm] |
| [ | what's up buttercup? |
| | life | ] |
| [ | all rock n' roll to me |
| | The Cure - Galore | ] |
Let's talk about boys and chocolate and sunrises and sunsets and dancing and music that kisses your ear and art that puts your eyes in a headlock and how good it feels to have kids looking up to you and how good it feels to have adults looking up to you and hugs and the smell of fresh laundry and the way that sun hits dew on leaves and long walks anywhere with amazing people and talking for hours on end without wanting to stop and movies and shows and nights out on the town that leave you in a daze and moments in general that leave you in a daze and baking cookies on blizzard days and warm blankets when it's cold at night and beaches on summer nights and the butterflies in your tummy when you really admire someone and when friends come to visit and letters in the mail and even emails and smiles from strangers and sunglasses and windows down driving on the highway in the summer and swimming in Maine and the smell of warm rain and playing cards and laughing hysterically even when you don't fully understand a joke and laughing at just about everything wonderful and the excitement in my brothers' eyes when I see visit them and calls from my mom and long talks with my dad and car rides that you never want to end and moonlight that makes everything blue and knowing that you made a difference in someone's life and sweaters and love and friendly smiles and gentle eyes and everything not pertaining to politics. |
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| you got a window in your basement, you got the perfect view...but you don't care |
[Nov. 1st, 2004|05:11 pm] |
| [ | what's up buttercup? |
| | think about it, kid | ] |
| [ | all rock n' roll to me |
| | Piebald | ] |
EPIPHANY:
Music. It's meant to be enjoyed. It is created for entertainment and expansion of the mind. Sometimes incredible messages are in the lyrics and this tends to cancel out any lack of talent in the actual music. Why have I been such a musical snob? I've gotten better since middle school. Remember the days of ska-and-punk-and-underground-stuff-and-nothing-else back in 7th grade? Well, I remember it. It was so much fun! I'd blow off most music outside of my bubble and revel in the glory of people not knowing any of the bands I listened to. I think the beauty of underground music was, and still is, the fact that popular media could neither destroy nor overplay any of it. But in this, I neglected some amazing popular stuff. So here's where my epiphany began: Piebald. Why have I neglected them? I know why. It's because when I first heard them, I thought they sounded too "pop". They do. Listen to them. They could run Coca-Cola right out of business. But the thing is, ya see, music is to be enjoyed. I enjoy some poppy stuff. I also enjoy radio-rock and some other "don't touch!" music. To quote a good friend warmly and accurately, "Who cares what people will think of what you listen to. Isn't music meant to be enjoyed?" |
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